It’s common to feel insecure when you find out your partner is watching porn. Your boyfriend doesn’t realize you feel that way, but he might understand if you talk to him. [2] X Research source Experts estimate that 60 to 70% of men watch porn regularly. [3] X Research source

Respect your boyfriend’s need to masturbate because it’s totally normal and healthy for him to do it. At the same time, he may be open to doing it without porn. You might suggest that he use a suggestive photo or video of you to masturbate. Alternatively, you could try sexting.

If this is the case, you might be able to help him feel less lonely by spending more time with him on video calls or helping him find a new interest.

In general, guys who watch porn don’t think they’re doing anything wrong. [8] X Research source However, porn can be a form of cheating if that’s how you feel. In that case, you’ll need to talk to him about it so you can set some relationship boundaries regarding porn. [9] X Expert Source Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 27 October 2021. [10] X Research source

He’s stopped having sex with you. He’s asking you to engage in scenarios he saw in porn. He’s neglecting his work and responsibilities. He turns to porn as a coping mechanism. He spends a lot of money on porn. He feels powerless to stop watching porn.

It might help to talk to a supportive friend before you talk to your boyfriend.

“I found porn in your browser history yesterday, and it surprised me. I was hoping we could discuss how often you’re looking at porn and why you feel drawn to it?” “Hey, I realize we’ve never talked about our porn habits. It’s been a while since I’ve watched any porn. How often do you watch it?” “I was shocked when I found porn on your phone yesterday because I thought you stopped watching it when we got together. I realize that I wasn’t being fair to you by making assumptions. Can we talk about this?”

“Finding out you watch porn just reminds me of my flaws. I can’t help but wonder if you want to see women with bigger breasts or no stretch marks. ” “I felt really betrayed when I found out you watch porn. To me, that’s cheating because you’re going outside our relationship for sexual pleasure. ” “I know a lot of people watch porn, but it makes me really uncomfortable. ” “I didn’t realize you needed porn to masturbate. Would you be open to trying something else?”

“It really bothers me that you’re watching porn. Would you be open to changing your habits now that we’re in a relationship?” “I don’t like you looking at other women, so I really want you to stop watching porn. " “Since it bothers me so much, would you consider giving up porn for our relationship?”

He may refuse to stop, and that’s his choice. If he keeps using it, you may have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you.