Practicing self-care and leaning on your support system is a great way to heal from a breakup.
A great way to move past this block is to simply accept that some things are out of your control. Once you stop trying to dictate everything in your life, you may feel more open to a relationship with an unknown future.
If you think your fear stems from past relationship trauma, it’s worth talking to a mental health professional about it. If you’re just not ready to commit to a relationship yet, consider taking a break from dating for the time being.
Working through past trauma on your own can be hard. You may want to make an appointment with a mental health professional to work through your issues and open yourself up again.
Think about how you first felt when you got your heart broken vs. now. Remember that it’s entirely possible to heal from a heartbreak, even though it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.
For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “Nobody cares about me,” ask yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friend just tell me how awesome I was last week?” Then, write down something positive about yourself, like, “I’m a great cook,” or, “I’m a kind friend. ”
Breaking this cycle can be hard to do on your own, so experts recommend talking to a mental health professional about it.
Often, codependent relationships have one partner who is addicted to a substance.
Be sure to hang out with your friends and keep doing your hobbies as you start dating again. If you feel yourself ignoring friends or fun activities for your partner, take a step back and remind yourself that you’re your own person.
The goal is to get to a secure attachment style: when you feel confident in yourself and your relationship, and you and your partner are on equal footing emotionally.
This isn’t to say you can’t have standards! It’s totally fine to reject someone because they aren’t a match for you. However, make sure you get to know them first so you can give them a chance.
