If he’s trying not to hurt your feelings, he might give short answers or try to change the subject quickly. You might say something like, “Hey babe, do you actually like the sweater I got you? You can be honest—I want to make sure it’s something you really like so I know what to get you in the future. ”
You might be able to tell he’s hiding something if he acts defensive toward a seemingly innocent question. You can talk with your boyfriend about his bad habits in a non-accusatory way. For instance, you might say, “I noticed that you’ve been eating fast food again, even though you said you wouldn’t. Were you scared to tell me because you thought I might be disappointed?”
“I need you to be honest with me, even if you think I might be angry. Our relationship has to be built on trust, and right now, I don’t feel like I can trust you. ”
You could say something like, “I think I understand why you lied. I don’t think it was okay, but we should probably talk about privacy. Do you feel like you’re getting enough time to yourself in our relationship?”
You can approach your boyfriend about this by saying something like, “I know you had to lie a lot when you were little, and that wasn’t fair to you. However, it’s not fair to me to keep lying all the time, either. ” Trauma like this can be tough to work through without professional help. If this is your boyfriend’s issue, he may benefit from therapy.
You can talk to him about a lie like this by saying, “Do you think you were dishonest about your job status because you wish you had a high-paying job? I can understand where you’re coming from, but I think it’s important that we tell each other the truth. ”
You could talk to him about this by saying, “I know it can feel embarrassing to tell me things like this, but I’m your partner. I tell you everything about my life, even the stuff that I don’t feel great about. ”
You might say something like, “I know money is a taboo subject for some people, but I think it’s important to talk about this. I’ve been honest about my finances; can you do the same?”
You could say something like, “Honey, I love you, but I can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore. I think you have a problem, and you need serious help. ” Addicts often promise to stop lying, but then go behind your back anyway. Be sure to pay attention to his actions, not his words.
He’s secretive about his phone He calls or texts someone late at night You can’t get ahold of him for long stretches at a time He’s less intimate with you, both physically and emotionally
Only a licensed professional can diagnose your boyfriend with a mental health issue. You can encourage him to make an appointment with a doctor or mental health professional if you think he needs to. You might say something like, “Honey, I think you might have an issue with lying. I really think you would benefit from talking to a therapist to work out why you feel like you need to lie all the time. ”
