Using the silent treatment isn’t a great way to deal with conflicts, because it keeps the line of communication closed. However, many people don’t have the emotional intelligence to talk about their feelings clearly, so they bottle them up and ignore the person who hurt them.
Playing hard to get isn’t the most mature way to handle a budding relationship, and it can often break down communication pathways.
We’re all passive-aggressive sometimes, and while it’s not the healthiest way to communicate with other people, it definitely sends a message.
This is especially likely if she’s been hurt by relationships in the past.
If you two haven’t been dating for long (or you’re not quite dating yet), she might not feel comfortable opening up to you about the problems in her life.
It’s important to talk about these things with your date, especially if you’re feeling bad. Talk to her about how often you’d like to chat, text, or hang out throughout the week, and see how she feels, too.
Other signs of ghosting include one-word, impersonal responses and the other person never initiating the conversation. If she just isn’t interested in you, the mature thing would be to let you know. However, if she’s scared of confrontation or she’s worried about hurting your feelings, she might be trying to let the relationships slowly fade away (especially if you’ve only been dating for a little bit).
“Hey, I noticed you’ve been a little quiet lately. Is everything okay?” “Just checking in. How are you doing? You’ve seemed a little down the past few days. Want to talk about it?”
“I totally understand if you’re feeling hurt or upset right now, but giving me the silent treatment makes me feel like you don’t care. ” “I want to be there for you, but I can’t if you just keep ignoring me. I want to hear about what you’re thinking and feeling. ”
“I just want you to know I’m here for you if you need me, but I respect that you need space. ” “I know work has been crazy for you. Let me know if I can do anything to help out. ”
“I’d really like to hear what you have to say. Maybe we could go grab a coffee this weekend?” “If you don’t feel up to meeting in person, we could always talk over the phone. I’m free any night after work this week. ”
“We haven’t been connecting much lately. Do you still want to see each other?” “I know we’ve only been dating for a few weeks, but it feels like you’re pulling back. Are you having second thoughts?”
Give your partner a chance to work on things by saying something like, “I care about you a lot, and I want this relationship to work. But you can’t keep shutting me out like this. ” Or, “I don’t want to part ways, but getting the silent treatment every week isn’t fun for me. I really need us to work on communicating with each other. ”
